STORIE =]
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Started the day with some conflicts with my fellow mans, due to misplacement of documents. Cant stand the constant nagging and inhuman type of working attitude, why cant they just try to understand and pay abit more attention to my mood, whereas i've always did for them. Hehe... Eventually, they've given in to me, even thought its my fault. haha...
Recieve a suprise msg from a long lost sec school frenz out for a drink(fisherman village). Search in vain for candles and some fireworks, coze she had request for it. The moment i knew she's gonna be there alone, i;ve felt so sad for her, coze such a meaningful nite and she gonna spend it all alone. My heart tell me not to leave ur frenz out in the cold and so i went. The words "restless and depress" came into my mind, when our first eye contact was made. Something was really wrong with her and i'm kind of worry. Even thought we had seen each other in sec sch but all along we're just like "hi bye" frenz. After some conversation then i've came to a conclusion of how great and wonderful young lady she is. She's someone who goes all out for love. I'm really touch for her deeds. As a guy i'm really envious and jealous for the guy, whose gonna be her bf and happy for her furture husband, , but why was heaven so unfair to her. why?? At about 12am, her cousin arrived to pick her up and she had also offer to give me a ride home... but hahaha... too paiseh liao... so choosen to jog home from pasir ris park... damn it.. why am i giving myself more problems when i cant even take anymore impact to my ankle. Only reward i've manage to get were just nothing but more pain... Argh... Argh... kaoz...
Hmm... i gonna help her out for this few moments till she's back to her usual cheerful self again. I cant bear to see her suffer from such agony.
simplicityrulez* @
1:46 AM
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
haiz... didn't had the time to update for the past few days or rather don even had the mood to do so. Really not getting into the right mood for weeks and i just hate it. Its like a recurring nightmare, it just kept bothering me. I dare to swear that i've been putting in lots of effort to end this but.... damn it!!
Hmm... Had always been looking forward to the peace keeping trip to iran, but never had i ever thought of my superior from keeping me out of this, just for his so call preaparation for us for the upcoming training for next year. To me its just simply bullshit, but what can i do other then accepting orders. Frankly speaking, the more i thought if it, the more i felt depressed, coze it had always been a glismp of hope. Had been asking myself, what had been pushing me for the peace keeping, partially its for the money and the badge, but deep down i knew that i'm just trying to get away from my sick life. Been to places which i had once went to but the feeling was no longer the same...
Where had the old me gone to now? Why am i feeling tis way? Am i trying to gain attention or gain pitty? Where was those endless drive which kept me helping out those in need? Why am i smiling infront of others?? Am i really happy?? Why am i such a weakling now?? Why cant i pull myself out of this now, isint it the same just like wat i've manage to do it for frenzs?? Isnt it the same ??? WTF!!! Can someone just come over and tell me something which gonna make me back to the oldself... can someone for god sake lend me a helping hand!!! Just come over and wake me up...
Wow... jackie chan is currently my saviour haha... he make me laugh and let go of myself at least for the last 2 hours... yeah...
simplicityrulez* @
3:31 PM
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Everything seems fine today, not until when i knew she's coming along. Then my mind started to tell myself, to act as normal, but the more i thought bout tis the more i'm having this mixed feeling. As usual she appear, but this time, i'm no longer feeling comfortable as always i've used to be. Trying my best, as thought nothing had happen and remainding myself, i've forgot about everything which had taken place in the past. Strike up a conversation, then dono why my mind just seems to ignore her present. Once the ktv session ended, we were seperated into smaller groups and i left with one of my bro. I happen to know that she was heading towards certain direction, then excuses for me to head in the same direction started to pop up. Headed there aimlessly just hoping to catch a glimsp but ended up having dinner with my bro. When we're bout to borad the train, i try to delay my timing, once again hoping to catch a glimsp. Along the way, those so call sweet memories kept popping out. Damn it!! How silly and useless i'm to be doing all this..... "The quicker u let go of ur old cheese, the sooner u find new cheese" tis is wat i've learn and i gonna practise it...
simplicityrulez* @
3:23 PM
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Oh yeah!! Manages to pick up some new skills today at work, trying my best to be mutli task in order to be on a higher lvl then my colleg.. Happen to come across a person, who intro "chao theory", its part of a session involving psychology studies. Seems interesting after i;ve just finished a few pages. Think i'm gonna finished it asap ba. The urge to own a digital cam is over but here comes the "mp3 player". Arh... rush to sim lim today but luckily manage to control myself, just after gng over my bills for this month. Hp and credit card are enough to finish me off for this month liao. haiz... gonna cut down on my expenses and sub more duties...
simplicityrulez* @
2:53 PM
haiz.. woke up late again tis mrn and had to rush there in cab again and thats $20+ again.
If i didnt had this recurring dream of her then i might not be late ba(excuses again). For those past few days, had always been keeping myself busy and telling myself its over, stop being foolish, but somehow or rather she just appear in my dream again last nite. I knew. Maybe subconsiously, i'm still in love or still unable to give up tis fast ba... but whatever was over was over.
simplicityrulez* @
2:35 PM
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Its monday and there's a sense of emptiness left in me. Apart from all my frenzs who are either working or ns, i'm here all alone doing nothing.
haiz.. so sianz... Those songs are still ringing very clearing in my mind... Wow.. how i miss last time ktv session. Its really been along time, ever since i felt so carefree... which manages to let go of myself and got immersed into the music.
There's no ladies to take care of and nobody for me to miss of, jus my bros and me...
Hehe... spend my afternoon with my mum and sis to the newly open cold storage for ration. Curry noodles were serve and i'm really glad that my standard is still there...
simplicityrulez* @
1:05 PM
