STORIE =]
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
haiz... didn't had the time to update for the past few days or rather don even had the mood to do so. Really not getting into the right mood for weeks and i just hate it. Its like a recurring nightmare, it just kept bothering me. I dare to swear that i've been putting in lots of effort to end this but.... damn it!!
Hmm... Had always been looking forward to the peace keeping trip to iran, but never had i ever thought of my superior from keeping me out of this, just for his so call preaparation for us for the upcoming training for next year. To me its just simply bullshit, but what can i do other then accepting orders. Frankly speaking, the more i thought if it, the more i felt depressed, coze it had always been a glismp of hope. Had been asking myself, what had been pushing me for the peace keeping, partially its for the money and the badge, but deep down i knew that i'm just trying to get away from my sick life. Been to places which i had once went to but the feeling was no longer the same...
Where had the old me gone to now? Why am i feeling tis way? Am i trying to gain attention or gain pitty? Where was those endless drive which kept me helping out those in need? Why am i smiling infront of others?? Am i really happy?? Why am i such a weakling now?? Why cant i pull myself out of this now, isint it the same just like wat i've manage to do it for frenzs?? Isnt it the same ??? WTF!!! Can someone just come over and tell me something which gonna make me back to the oldself... can someone for god sake lend me a helping hand!!! Just come over and wake me up...
Wow... jackie chan is currently my saviour haha... he make me laugh and let go of myself at least for the last 2 hours... yeah...
simplicityrulez* @
3:31 PM
