STORIE =]
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Everything went peacefully as usual not until when i heard my dad repremanding my sis.. till a point i felt over the limit... all i did was to suggest a solution, military stlye of life style.. "u wash or do whatever things u had used".. somehow.. that old man seems to disagree.. asking who the hell am i, asking him to deal with his personnel house chores.. "aint we a family, why do we hav to divide works" this is farking reply i got.. damn just don get what i mean at all.. this goes on and on.. until somehow he mention this.. "are u thinking that just by being able to earn, get u the rite to reprimand me and had this feeling that ur the boss now, since ur paying everythings.. " why do the man i;'ve hate since young.. since.. i cant remember since when.. there's only more hatred btw us.. the man whom had lye to us.. the man who had betray my mum not once, not twice but........ fark it, all along the reason he had mention had nv came across my mind man.. i've been worrying about them, planning for them.. paying as much as i can.. thats 1/3 of what i'm earning.. i'm a human being too.. i've emotion its just that i do not show.. then here come WWF royal rumble.. we got physical... really physical i mean in terms of inflicting pain and damage.. i'm only grappling and defence .. cause no matter what i can retalitaed coze his still my old man.. thks alot to all those sparring i've when thru.. if not i might had been ko by a ex-boxer.. damn it..
Here come the best of its best.. yeah.. man.. my mum the one i love and care most intending to climd and jump off the building hahaha....... this time i nv stop her... why didnt i? what is happent to me?? had i gone numb?? do i wanna see another death?? another someone i noe jumping off, killing him or herself.. i've seen too much simply too much.. its not the first time she's doing this.. i might hav ost her last year, if i've never make a move then... this time something is really wrong with me.. wtf i still cant forget that sentence... there's no bond btw us at all now.. i don feel home at all.. when all along i've been putting in alot of effort to bring peace and harmony.. hahaha.. what a fool i've been.. how i've wish to have someone whom i can talk to or just someone i felt comfortable with to sit down and kept me accompany silently.. hatred, dishearten, vengenance, and bleeding are what's left in my soul now..
Best i also hav to handle Frenzs n collegues i've given my best to help out.. but somehow there's ppls who don seems to appreciate it.. then in return i've felt sad and diappointed again.. they are not helping themself.. its break heart to see this.. its not only the few whom i've met almost every week but those whom i've not really known had also come towards me, for help or accompany... am i god or what?? how come ppl just keep coming.. i do appreciate it but i've my limitation to solve or help.. but when offers are being ignore or unappriacte i've felt............. BGR don even think bout it.. i don even hav the calibre to hav it.. all i could do was to stay low.. offer help and ask for no returns... hoping and praying for miricale is what i've used to believe in.. but now... i noe there's 2 words call "almost impossible" hehe.. just to zi wo an wei.. its better then "impossible" at least..
simplicityrulez* @
11:34 PM
