STORIE =]
Thursday, December 30, 2004
As promised, went for chris bday.. purposely went late for the arrival of others... In the first place... dun even had the mood or intention of gng.. somehow i'll still need to face it.. don wish to be like any other guy.. who choose to run away..
Manages to go according to plan.. "smiling face" operation activated.. deep down.. Deep below, it really sux... wanted to be normal or at least act normal.. No matter what.. fear, stress or avoidance seems to have been implanted into her brain.. Somehow.. its sux.. thks to all my doing.. unclear explanation and impatientness ba.. Had anyone wonder how would u feel, when all along.. someone whom u had always wishes to be together or gave him/her happiness, actually turn out to be too stress out by u.. Started to avoid and had build up an invisible wall surrounding her/his, preventing u from entering his/her safety zone.. All i've wanted today was to be normal and as usual send her home just for safety of conern... but...... sux.. strong sense of avoidance..
Somehow just felt that staying away from this current group of buddy will help to ease the pain ba.. but if i've done this.. things will not be solve.. instead u be treated as chidlish or rather irresponsible person ba.. I know my character too well liao.. coze... haiz.. WTF
simplicityrulez* @
1:56 AM
